• Home
  • About Me
  • Disclaimer + Privacy Policy
  • Resources I Use
  • Work with Me
  • Categories
    • Beauty
    • Books
    • Lifestyle
    • Travel
    • University
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
a girl with a view

A Girl with a View

Losing Friends in Your 20s and Why it’s Okay

May 2, 2020

Post Updated November 2020

Female friendships, in my experience, are never plain sailing. Primarily throughout sixth form, there were, to put it lightly, difficulties in my friendship group. These so-called ‘difficulties’ resulted in a meeting between the said group and someone from our school (a meeting I am still salty about because there was no need for it to happen and for school to be involved as we were all adults but that’s another story…). But that is beside the point. Since going to university these friendships have drifted quite considerably and stopped as I’ve reached my twenties and I’ve realised that’s okay.

For some context, there were 9 of us in this group and we had all been best friends since we met in reception. So we’re talking about 15 years of friendship here. But as we grew up we began to split apart into 2 sub-groups. It just so happened that the majority of one sub-group went off to uni this year and the other did not, perhaps cementing the split?

University started and everything was fine, or just papered over the cracks fine. We’d all vowed to keep in touch and for a while we did. For my birthday in October friends from home came to visit me and made my birthday such a lovely day. We spoke occasionally and when I came home there were meet-ups if others were back as well.

girl group of friends laughing in summer
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

But as the year progressed, the conversations stopped, the meet-ups were arranged and uni people who were back were often not there or invited and things changed. It became much more of an effort to talk and make conversation. I felt like things became one-sided, it became down to me to start up a conversation, to check up on someone, just to ask how life was going or to make the effort to actually keep in touch and suggest meeting up rather than it being a two-way thing. It came to a point where I decided to just cut people out, whether that’s right or wrong, it’s what I did. I became fed up of constantly being the person maintaining things and now that I had new flatmates, course-mates and a boyfriend, I didn’t want to feel like a nuisance. Plus I had so many new people to juggle that we stopped messaging.

Don’t get me wrong I still have friends from back home. Those of us that went to university made such an effort to keep in touch and we saw each other regularly whilst being away and when back at home. These were the types of friendships that I wanted; it didn’t feel totally one-sided and that we were friends for the sake of history. We both genuinely wanted to keep in contact so we did and things still work between us and we’re all very good friends.

So reaching my twenties resulted in me gaining and losing friends and that’s okay. People move in and out of your life constantly and whilst we had so many good years as friends and fond memories, I know that now, whilst we will always be friendly and civil, we will never be as we used to be. As we’ve all gotten older we’ve drifted in and out of friendship with the starting of university being the final nail in the coffin. Losing friends and drifting apart doesn’t make either of you bad people. Sometimes it’s better to lose those where things just weren’t quite working in order to make time for those where it does. But most importantly, it’s okay to lose friends. It happens.

If you liked this post you might also enjoy students amongst a pandemic!

 

in lifestyle

Reader Interactions

you may also like
4 TV Shows I Don’t Think Are Worth The Hype
The Best Evening Routine for Relaxing
7 Amazing Productivity Boosting Chrome Extensions
Simple Bullet Journal Spread for Beginners

Comments

  1. Charlotte C says

    May 3, 2020 at 2:30 pm

    I went through a very similar experience in sixth form too with my friendship group, so I can totally relate! I've drifted away from and lost a few friends in the past 3 years but I've also realised it's ok and sometimes it is actually necessary. x

    – charlotte / charlottesspace.com

    Reply
  2. Natasha Evans says

    May 12, 2020 at 12:14 pm

    Completely agree – there's no point hanging on either! x

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Hello!

21 year-old English student and lifestyle blogger. Welcome to A Girl with a View!
read more

Follow Me

Follow A Girl with a View on WordPress.com

Top Hits!

  • Simple Bullet Journal Spread for Beginners
  • woman reading on bed with cup of tea cosy 8 of The Best Books I’ve Read Recently
  • 30 Date Night Ideas for Valentine’s Day

Join our mailing list!

To receive my latest post straight to your inbox!

Featured

couple love sitting evening

4 TV Shows I Don’t Think Are Worth The Hype

Latest ‘Grams

The Midnight Library by @mattzhaig is my next read The Midnight Library by @mattzhaig is my next read! 

I've been in a major reading slump recently and I've had so many uni books to get through so I haven't read anything fun for ages 😭 

Have you read this book? What did you think of it? 

Also are reviews things you'd like to read on the blog (or insta)?
HAPPY PANCAKE DAY! πŸ₯ž Here is a completely unre HAPPY PANCAKE DAY! πŸ₯ž

Here is a completely unrelated photo to pancakes (I'm having some later!) but here are some of the horses I see on my daily walk! 

How are you doing at the moment? Are you having pancakes today?
This is a really old photo but I have nothing rece This is a really old photo but I have nothing recent to post πŸ™ˆ

How is everyone doing? Truth be told I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed and dishearted with my blog and uni so I'm trying to give myself some time off. 

What have you been doing?
Long time no speak yet again. I'm no good at Insta Long time no speak yet again. I'm no good at Instagram πŸ™ˆ

I started bullet journaling last month and have been finding it so relaxing. I am not the best at the art side of it though πŸ˜…πŸŽ¨

I posted a blog post today talking about how to create a simple spread - link in bio if you're interested! 

Do you bullet journal?
Finally we have some snow!! I've been a bit MIA Finally we have some snow!! 

I've been a bit MIA in the blogging world due to university assignments and feeling a bit run down. It's the final week of uni deadlines and then I'm chilling for a week!

The snow has really lifted my mood β„πŸŒ¨

Do you have any snow where you are?
Hello again and Happy New Year! Apologies for the Hello again and Happy New Year! Apologies for the brain dump that is about to happen in the caption but it's been a while πŸ™ˆ

I've not been very active in the Instagram or blogging community recently as I've had so much uni work to do that I just haven't had the time to keep on top of it all! πŸ™ˆ

I'm hoping in the next few weeks I'll get my blogging mojo back and have more time but for now if you don't see me around I'll hopefully be back soon enough πŸ₯°

How are people feeling after the announcement yesterday? If I'm honest I'm feeling a bit deflated about it and university students are always forgotten. Every. Single. Time!! 

I'm hoping that during this lockdown (and once these deadlines have passed) I'll have more time for my blog and to start creating new content as I'm excited for my blog in 2021! πŸ˜‡

In other news, I'm sticking to one of my new year goals and trying to go running and I'm actually enjoying it?! How are your new years goals going, if you set any?

Let's chat in the comments! ⭐
2020 Β© Your Blog Name
made by soulmuse